Dear Reader,
Credit where credit is due. Not 6 months ago Paddy Hogg, having confirmed his participation in The Mild Hog's USA soiree, was facing a personal confidence crisis. In September 2010 he would be embarking on an epic journey riding over 1,400 miles in a week, yet he had not ridden a motorcycle for many years.
Confidence was low; could he dust off the cobwebs of his saddle and take to the road again? Could he overcome his anxieties and once more feel something throbbing between his legs?
Could he convince 'er indoors that wearing leather again was something she should embrace?
Credit where credit is due. Not 6 months ago Paddy Hogg, having confirmed his participation in The Mild Hog's USA soiree, was facing a personal confidence crisis. In September 2010 he would be embarking on an epic journey riding over 1,400 miles in a week, yet he had not ridden a motorcycle for many years.
Confidence was low; could he dust off the cobwebs of his saddle and take to the road again? Could he overcome his anxieties and once more feel something throbbing between his legs?
Could he convince 'er indoors that wearing leather again was something she should embrace?
With such monumental challenges to overcome it was a very testing time for Paddy, however through the sheer hard work, grit and determination (of his local bike dealer) his mothballed 2-wheeled stallion was once again ready to kiss the tarmac of Melton Mowbray with its rubber. And there they were, re-united again after all these years - man and machine as one. Such a beautiful sight.
So, dear reader, you may think that all is well. Far from it. This intrepid reporter has been sent some rather alarming news which, if true, suggests that Paddy's new found confidence has grown out of control and to a very dangerous level. An anonymous source has sent me some disturbing evidence which suggests that Paddy, on a recent summer holiday, hired a motorcycle for his amusement and threw caution to the wind by riding without an approved safety helmet. Now, this maybe technically legal in some countries however safety must come first (unless you're Ginger, in which case it comes a poor second behind 'Style') and yours truly will be "'avin a word in 'is shell like" to put Paddy back on the straight and narrow. The following image is not clever. It is posted as a source of information only and with the warning that you should never ride without an approved safety helmet. Tut Tut Paddy xx.
Dear Boss
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing my previous eating disorder to the attention of our dear readers (actually, do you think anyone actually reads this drivel?).
However, to paraphrase Sir Winston Churchill …. “I may be fat, but you, sir, are ugly. At least I can diet”!
By the way, the second picture was not taken when I was on holiday – I was actually on a photo-shoot for your soon to be released “Steve Henthorne Inflatable Motorcycle Ensemble”, including the revolutionary “Motorcycle Inflatable Lifelike Face” helmet. As you know, the combination is to be distributed under the advertising slogan – “Get a SHIM-E on, Get a MILF” – and we hope demand will be high.
(There that should bring a few more hits to the site!)
Paddy
Best of luck to the Hogs. Have suggested to Boss you all read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" but am not sure he can actually read.
ReplyDeleteQuote from Easy Rider
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064276/quotes
George Hanson: They're not scared of you. They're scared of what you represent to 'em.
Billy: Hey, man. All we represent to them, man, is somebody who needs a haircut.
George Hanson: Oh, no. What you represent to them is freedom.
Billy: What the hell is wrong with freedom? That's what it's all about.
Ride free and ride safe boys!
Thanks for the suggestion Dr Fish. I'll probably be taking a copy of Viz for my reading material! Then again, if I see Zen on the shelves in the airport I may be tempted......BH
ReplyDelete