And they're off - at 12:20 (BST), Virgin Atlantic flight VS007, (incessanly cslled the "the James Bond flight" by the flight crew) took off from Heathrow Airport, bound for Los Angeles - no mean feat given (a) that Dumpy was on board, and (b) the volume of additional "refreshments" required on board to satisfy the Mild Hogs thirst over the next 11 hours (Gin and Tonic for Ginger, Southern Comfort and Canada Dry for Paddy, Pink Champagne for Boss, "Old Speckled Bishops Fingers Dogfish’s Head Grasscuttings Ale" for t'Northern Lad, and Malibu and Diet Coke, but not too strong please, for Dumpy.
Our blog left you earlier this morning (or was it yesterday morning - the time difference is beginning to really do my head in) with an idea of how your author would be picking up the rest of the Hogs, and then setting off for Heathrow. I am pleased to report, that at 6:30 BST, and with Dumpy safely lashed to the roof rack, the Hog Bus did indeed set off of for "dat dare London".
On the way down, there was a particularly emotional moment when a tear formed in Boss's eyes. His companions wondered what was up - perhaps he was missing Jo and gthe kids more than he first thought, or maybe he could hear the sound of Bow Bells as we approached "the smoke". We actually settled on the fact that he had had a sudden realisation that Ginger Hog wasn't joking, that his bag was indeed packed full of 8 year old grundies ("apple catchers" I believe is the term of choice), and that he would be sharing a room with them over the next week or so.
Whatever it was, Boss had got over it as the Hog Bus made its final approach to the valet parking area at Heathrow Terminal 3 (told you we are roughing it) and deposited the, by now somewhat excited Hogs, outside the main entrance.
Check in was eventually successfully negotiated once it had been explained to Ginger that asking to sit upstairs on an Airbus 340-600 would actually mean that he would be strapped to the roof …… at which point someone remembered that we had forgot to untie Dumpy, and that by now he was probably in some dodgy car park just outside Heathrow. After some debate (and a 2:2 vote before Boss used his casting vote to break the deadlock), it was decided to ring the parking company, and see if they would drop Dumpy back to the airport – after all, if they hadn’t, then one of the remaining three Hogs would have to be the butt of your authors lame attempts at humour, and no one wanted to take the risk of it being them.
Once Dumpy had been recovered, passing through Security was also a reasonably uneventful experience (sorry, dear readers, no comments here about Dumpy, private rooms and rubber gloves), and by 9:15 the Mild Hogs sat down to their first Budweiser of the day, indeed the holiday. At 9:16 the Mild Hogs sat down to their second Budweiser of the day, and at 9:17 ….. Dumpy fell asleep.
The four remaining Hogs passed the rest of the morning doing the sort of things that experienced business travellers do at times such as this – a quick look around the shops, a few pints, a bite to eat, shaving off a sleeping colleagues eyebrows etc. before being called to the plane at about 11:20
The flight itself was long - very long - but on the whole, quite pleasurable experience, although Boss did get slightly uneasy when the pilot announced that number one engine had failed, and that consequently flying time would be extended by one hour. Ginger wasn’t overly impressed when the pilot later informed us that number two engine had failed, thus adding a further hour to the flight time, and when it was announced that number three engine had also failed, adding two more hours to the journey time, Dumpy was heard to comment that he hoped the fourth engine didn’t fail, as “we will be up here all day!”
Clearly, Daddy Hog was overwhelmed by the whole experience.
Anyway, on arrival in Los Angeles at 15:20 PT (Pacific Time = BST – 8hrs), it took the Hogs an hour to pass through baggage reclaim, US Passport Control, and US Customs (which, as it turns out, is not a lecture on the more contrary habits of Americans such as calling their national sporting championships “World Championships”, or the boot of a car, the “truck” etc.) but rather a check that we weren’t bringing any illegal substances, like a proper language, into the States. Your author spent most of that time talking to folks from the aul country who were arriving in LA for their daughters wedding. At one point in the conversation, i actually thought they were getting more excited about our trip than the upcoming nuptials, but there you go !
Once “landside”, we were eventually met by our pre booked Shuttle Bus, and set off on the final part of the day’s journey, from the airport to Baldwin Park – “through da ‘hood” – to the Courtyard by Marriott Hotel. Actually, we weren’t near any ‘hood, but I’ve always wanted to say that, but it was through LA's Friday afternoon traffic, which was, out simply "brutal". Don't be fooled by the gamnourous image that we in Eurpoe have about LA - the bots that we saw yesterday where scruffy and uncared for - I think that Daddy called the whole place "functional" which ias as good a term as any.
Anyway, once we had checked into the hotel, (Daddy, Ginger and Grundies in 1 room, Paddy and Dumpy in another, and Boss in the third), there was time for a couple of quick beers before a bite to eat at Sizzlers Restaurant (described to us as "the McDonalds of the Steak House World") and a trip around the biggest supermarket (Wallmart) you have ever seen, before finally off sloping off to bed at about 21:30 PT (05:30 BST) in readiness for tomorrow, and the first day of the trip proper – Los Angeles to Las Vegas.
“Paddy’s Final Thought”
In the first of what may well be an irregular series, your author would like to offer a final thought on any lessons learned from the day’s events (a bit like Jerry’s Final Thought, but without the such as adultery, divirce, homophoba, homosexuality, incest, infedelity, pornography, prostitution, racism, strbage fetishes, or transvestism – or at least, that’s the plan – you never know with Dumpy).
Today’s theme is about how lucky we Hogs are to be here.
Lucky because we have families who understood how much we wanted to do this, and who have put up with our incessant ranting about the finer details of a trip on which they would be coming.
Lucky because we have good friends with which to share the trip (on the bikes and via our blog), and finally,
Lucky because … we have our health to allow us to do
As Jerry himself would say, "until next time, take care of yourselves and each other".
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